Welcome to my blog! I have been a foster parent for over 3 years and have over 6 years of experience working in child welfare as a Children’s Services Caseworker and a Guardian ad Litem (GAL). Being a foster parent can be incredibly rewarding but also challenging. This space is where I’ll share my experiences—both personal and professional—offering insight, advice, and reflections on caring for children in the foster system.
My Story: Unexpected Beginnings
My path to foster parenting wasn’t a straight line. Growing up, I didn’t know anyone in foster care or who was a foster parent. It wasn’t on my radar until adulthood. In college, I dreamed of getting my degree and working for the FBI. While working part-time at a retail store, I met a co-worker who was a Children’s Services Caseworker. Our conversations about his experiences were a shocking wake-up call. I realized that abuse and neglect were real issues, not just news stories. Hearing his firsthand accounts made it real. I shadowed him a couple of times, gaining insight into the child welfare system, and it drew my interest. I felt that working in child welfare was my calling.
Within months of graduating, I began my career as a Children’s Services caseworker. I started thinking about what kids in foster care experience and how they feel being uprooted from their homes. Often, they sit in our office for hours until a foster home is found. I learned that there is a significant shortage of foster homes, leading to kids spending nights in office buildings or being placed in group homes due to a lack of available placements. As I continued working in the field, the desire to become a foster parent grew stronger. However, I needed to be 100% ready, especially since I didn’t have biological kids of my own, making the decision daunting.
My wife and I discussed fostering for months. The more we talked, the more we felt called to open our home. We knew it wouldn’t be easy, but we felt strongly that this was our purpose.
I’ll never forget the night our first foster child, we’ll call him C, came to stay with us. At 3 years old, he had been in foster care since shortly after his first birthday. He had spent nearly 2 years with his previous foster family. As often happens with Children’s Services (CPS) cases, his situation dragged on. His former foster parents gave CPS an ultimatum: allow them to adopt him or remove him from their home. CPS couldn’t comply at that moment, so he was removed. Just like that, the home and parents he’d known were gone in the blink of an eye.
When he arrived at our home, I expected him to be sad or angry. Instead, he seemed almost happy. He didn’t understand that he wouldn’t return to his old foster home; he thought he was just visiting us for a couple of days. This was not abnormal for him, as kids in foster care often go to “respite care,” which is similar to a biological child visiting a grandparent for the weekend. Due to foster care laws, respite must be in a licensed home. How do you explain to a 3-year-old that they can’t return to the only home they’ve known? Witnessing his story was hard, but his resilience inspired me and confirmed that being a foster parent was my path.
My Professional Background: A Unique Perspective
Before becoming a foster parent, I spent over 6 years in the child welfare system, first as a Children’s Services Caseworker and then as a Guardian ad Litem (GAL). As a GAL, I was the voice for children in court, advocating for their best interests. In my caseworker role, I worked directly with families, navigating complex systems. These experiences gave me a unique perspective on the challenges and triumphs of foster care.
I’ve witnessed the trauma children in foster care experience, the struggles of biological parents, and the dedication of foster families. This background has profoundly shaped my approach to foster parenting. I understand the importance of trauma-informed care, strong advocacy, and a stable, loving home.
The system is meant to protect kids and ensure their well-being, but too often, they seem like names on paper. Numerous court proceedings, therapies, and case conferences make it feel like the focus is rarely on the children. As a caseworker, managing multiple cases often shifts the focus from helping families to merely putting out fires. Caseworkers are overworked, leading to frustrations for biological parents, kids, and foster parents, who feel the system doesn’t care. Speaking from experience, this isn’t true; it’s a broken system placing individuals between a rock and a hard place.
Why This Blog? My Mission and Your Invitation
I started “Midwest Foster Dad” for a few key reasons:
- To Share the Realities: Foster care is often romanticized or misunderstood. I want to share the honest truth—the good and the bad.
- To Offer Support: Fostering can be isolating. I aim to create a community where foster parents can find practical advice, encouragement, and a sense of belonging.
- To Raise Awareness: I want to shed light on the foster care system and advocate for the needs of children and families.
- To Connect: I want to learn from your experiences too! Each of us has a unique story to tell. Sharing our challenges helps us grow stronger.
- To Give a Voice: Being a foster parent often goes unacknowledged. I want to change this.
I’ll share tips for navigating new placements, strategies for dealing with challenging behaviors, insights from my professional experience, and personal stories from my family’s journey. I hope to be of benefit to you, whether to learn something or to know that you’re not alone in your experiences.
Let’s Connect!
I’m glad you’re here. I’d love to hear from you! Are you a foster parent, considering fostering, or just interested in learning more? Share your story or ask a question in the comments below. And if you want to follow along on our journey, be sure to subscribe to the blog below.
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